Tuesday, 18 June 2013

I'm not that girl

I'm not the life of the party. I'm not the one that makes heads turn when I enter a room. I'm not the hot dancer on the floor.

I'm not the good girl at the wedding who gets all the work done. Nor the traditional one who everyone loves.  And definitely not the sweet one everyone smiles at in approval.

I'm not the quiet one who accepts things as they are. I'm not the one who can turn a blind eye if she doesn't agree with things.

I don't remember names of movies I have seen. Nor the music I've heard.

I don't have witty comebacks.

I'm the girl sitting in the corner, nursing my drink. I will speak if spoken to and then also may mumble or speak too fast. I'm the girl who's too embarrassed to dance unless drunk.

I'm the girl who went out and got a tattoo but usually wears clothes that hide it. I'm the girl who's still discovering her sense of style.

I'm the girl who doesn't know how to play games and would rather have honest conversations. I'm insecure and afraid but ready to wear that on my sleeve because I hope to meet people who can deal with it and help me grow.

I'm the girl who's given up pretending that she's cool. Cool is just a word and the meaning changes over the years. I'm the girl who challenges people, to be better and truer.

I'm the girl rebuilding my life. The girl who gave up resenting her loss of freedom and failed marriage to embrace her son and her new life.

I'm the girl who got her shit together. I apologize to no one.

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