So here are the things I have learnt through my marriage and divorce. Things I need to remember in the weaker moments:
- I AM STRONG: I am so much stronger than I ever believed I was. I always thought that if the ex walks out of my life it'll be over. What will I do? Who will I be with? Who'll take care of the things he took care of? But I realized that I have so many things to do that I often run short of time, I have brought in my life people who love me and support me and honestly he didn't take care of too many things. Whatever he did, I do it better!
- I AM A KICKASS WOMAN!: My ex convinced me that I was un-fun, fat and ugly. And I lived with that conviction for a long time. But today I realize that was his problem and not mine. I am an interesting person and woman. I am beautiful and if other people don't see that it's their crappy perception of beauty that's the problem. I am a lot of fun! I have a lot of fun. It just has to be with the right kind of people. My idea of fun isn't just getting stoned and listening to fucking electronic music!
- I CAN TRAVEL: So traveling was the ex's specialty. I always thought if I'm not with him I'll live a boring monotonous life without travel. On the contrary I can finally make travel plans and actually execute them! If I want to go to Vietnam I can plan it, buy tickets and go and not just keep talking about it.
- I AM WHO I AM: Before my divorce I lived according to everyone else's expectations. My boyfriends/husband, parents, sisters, friends. I seldom tried to figure out what I like, want to do, want to be. I was happy just making other people happy. But when the shit hit the fan I was forced into a corner and had to figure myself out. I learnt more about who I am in the last two years than I did in the 29 years preceding my divorce. I figured out what's important for me, my motivations, who I am. And I'm happy with the results!
- I'M HEALTHY: The stress of my unhappiness pre and during my marriage had made me a sick, unhealthy person. When I made the decision to get divorced it was like a weight lifted off my shoulders. Things started falling in place. I started losing weight, I started feeling healthier and fitter than I ever had before. I am today at my fittest, healthiest best. And I am loving it!
I have rebuilt my life, my career, my self-esteem from scratch. Had I not gotten divorced I would still be in a miserable marriage, sick as a dog, an unhappy mother raising an unhappy child. I'm glad I cut that thread. I am happy to be where I am today. So for all those times I have felt sad about my marriage ending I must say it's been the best decision of my life!