To my son as he turns 1 and a 1/2

Dear Son,

I sit and sip my second hazelnut delight. I have run away from home for a while because you were driving me insane. I feel like a horrible mother. But there are things I need you to know.

I am going to try my damnedest, hardest best to do right by you. To give you a stable, secure present and future. To give you love and understanding. To be a friend and a mother. To teach you the right things. To help you achieve your immense potential.

I will always try to keep you happy. And I will always, always no matter what, love you. You need to know and remember that.

But there will be times when I will fail you. I may not be there when you need me. I may not be there in the way you need me to be. I may shout at you. I may not understand you. I may hurt your feelings. I may be more mother and less friend.

Those times my son, my love, be patient with me. Know that I may be your mother but I am also fallible.

I am overwhelmed at times by the responsibility I have undertaken. I don't know whether I can give you everything I want to, everything you deserve. Sometimes I want to run away. To not have to worry about you every moment of every day.

But I can't. I won't. You are a part of me sweetheart, as no one else ever will be. You make me a better person. You push me to be my best. You make me who I am.

So let's take this journey together baby. Let's lean on each other and be the best we can be.

I wish you happiness, love and peace. You are my truest love, my life.

Always, always yours

Mamma